Friday The 13th: XVIII: Kurtisand#39; Return

Image Credit: Arianna J., Temecula, CA Two years after I died with Jason, I was in Heaven watching NBA. I was enjoying myself when all of a sudden; I was brought back to life by Taylor Ellis. She was my BFF in middle school and high school. I was freaked out because I was brought back to life.         Taylor said, “I thought my spell wouldn’t work.” I said, “Teach me some spells for defense.” 20 minutes later, I learned 5 spells. Taylor said, “Come on let’s get you to some shelter.” I said, “Okay.” 5 minutes later, I arrived into a large cabin like the size of a house. There was Sax and Kersten from 2 years ago inside the large cabin. They both said, “I thought you were dead.” I said, “I thought so too. Then Taylor brought me back to life.” There were also 2 football jocks named Littlejohn and Luke. They played for my high school. They gave me a noogie and said, “Hey Mr. Undead. I can’t you survived a killer’s rampage and killed him twice. You’re awesome.” I said, “Thank you both.”         Then a cute cheerleader named Britney said, “You look ugly Kurtis the Zombie.” Taylor said, “Don’t call him that, Ms. Insulter.” I said, “What’s today?” Sax said, “Friday the 13th.” I was freaked out like I saw a ghost. Then, I bumped into Britney and broke her new IPhone 7. She yelled, “What the Hell, ugly that was $ 650. You, idiot!” I said, “Sorry Britney.”         She pulled out a Wesson revolver from her pocket. Everybody freaked out. I said, “Put the gun down.” She said, “Get me a new phone!” Sax was ready to knock the gun out of her hand. Sax lunged and broke her arm. Three shots went off. The 1stone hit Kerstin's calf. The 2nd one hit Luke in the collarbone. The last one hit an oil drum and blew something and flew into the barn a mile away. Littlejohn said, “Call an ambulance like the speed of a football.”         Taylor walked to Kerstin. Kerstin was bleeding and said," Tell my wife I love her." Two hours later, the ambulance came and picked up Kerstin and Luke. Then a sheriff named Drew arrested Britney for shooting a person. Drew told us, “Don’t let anything else happen again."         Meanwhile at the barn, the mysterious thing was Jason Voorhees. Jason was ready to kill more people. He was armed with a machete. Jason walked to an intersection. The driver saw him and honked. Then the ambulance drove around him. Then Jason hopped on the ambulance. He went into the back. He saw Kerstin and Jason grabbed a syringe full of water and stabbed into his nostril and up to his bottom part of the brain. Jason grabbed a bag and suffocated Luke Then Jason grabbed the defibrillators and shocked the passenger's head and killed him. Then Jason sliced the driver’s stomach and saw the stomach fall on the ground. Then Jason grabbed the steering wheel and started driving. Then the ambulance hit a gas can and blew up. Jason got out and walked into the forest. Meanwhile, the sheriff saw the explosion and followed. Britney kept trying to escape. Then the sheriff saw the ambulance blown up. The sheriff grabbed a pistol. He said," Wait here I’ll protect you.”          Drew was armed with a pistol. Drew looked around for Jason. He saw a barn and an ambulance. He saw 2 lynched bodies hanging from a barn. As Drew turned around, Jason put a heated fireplace poker through the middle of Drew’s head. Then Jason walked around and saw the police car and saw Britney in it. In the car, Britney finally got out. She saw Jason and ran like a cheetah. Then as she took a break Jason grabbed and stuck a metal pipe through the middle of her back mouth. Jason walked off into the woods with his machete looking for me.          Back at the cabin, Taylor said, “I’m hungry like a horse.” I said, “Me too.” Littlejohn said, “I’ll call Pizza Hut.” Littlejohn dialed 330- 535- 4444. Littlejohn ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas. The operator said, “Your pizzas will be here in twenty minutes.” Littlejohn said, “The pizzas will be here in twenty minutes.” I said, “Okay.” Sax said, “Why did you freak out earlier?” I said, “I don’t want to talk about it.” Sax said, “Please I’ll give you 5 bucks.” I said,” Fine might as well tell everyone.”          10 minutes later, I was done explaining what happened and why I was psyched out about. Taylor said, “So that’s how you died.” Littlejohn said, “You’re more amazing than I thought.” I said, “Where are the pizzas?” Littlejohn said, “They should be here any minute now.”           Meanwhile, the Pizza Hut car pulled up to the driveway. As soon as it pulled up, Jason started to walk by the car. The delivery boy walked towards the porch while Jason was behind the car. The delivery boy knocked on the door. Littlejohn said, “Finally! How much is that.” The delivery boy said, “$15.95.” The delivery boy said, “Have a good night.” As the delivery boy walked to the car, he heard something and ran into the car. As soon as he needed to adjust his mirrors, he saw Jason. Then Jason grabbed him and sliced his jugular vein. Jason then walked into the woods.          Sax called all of us to play football. Littlejohn said, “Get ready to lose.” Twenty minutes later, I tried to throw it to Sax but in landed in a barn. Sax said, “I’ll get it.” Littlejohn said, “As soon as you get it, meet us in the cabin.” Sax said, “Okay.” Sax ran into the barn. Jason then grabbed a pickaxe and hit it twice in Sax’s neck.          One hour later, Taylor, Littlejohn and I were watching the Browns game when all of a sudden the power went out.          Littlejohn said, “What happened to the electricity?” I said, “It’s probably a power outage. I’ll go check the power outside.” Everyone followed me. I went to the fuse box and saw the wires were cut. I backed up with fear and said, “It can’t be!” I backed up and hit the Pizza Hut car. I opened the driver door and saw the deceased delivery boy. I screamed and everybody ran to me. Taylor said, “What’s wrong.” She then saw the body and said, “Who would do this?” I said, “It’s Jason again.” Taylor said, “You mean the killer who killed you.” Littlejohn said, “How are we going to kill him?”          Then out of nowhere Jason was behind us. All of us ran for five miles. Then we saw a cornfield by a barn. There was a party at the cornfield. We ran and told everyone run. Jason then swings his machete at a drunken person’s neck. Then Jason decapitated 3 partier’s heads. Then Littlejohn decided to take on Jason. He said, “Go. Save yourselves.” Taylor said, “Are you nuts?!” Littlejohn said, “I’ll distract Jason. Go!” Then Littlejohn grabbed a broken beer bottle and a torch. Littlejohn then threw a pebble at Jason. Littlejohn said,” Come get me Jason.”                 Littlejohn then lit Jason on fire. Littlejohn said, “Burn Motherfucker!” Littlejohn then stabbed Jason 2 times. Jason then walked to Littlejohn. Littlejohn then ran. As he was running Littlejohn got his left calf chopped off. I went outside and saw Littlejohn begging for help. Littlejohn then was dragged to a tree branch and used it to stabbed Littlejohn back mouth 3 times. I said,” Jason’s here” Taylor said, “I have a plan.”                 Two minutes later, Jason walked into the barn. I walked behind a haystack and then I hit Jason with a wood plank. Jason then knocked me out looking dead. Taylor then shot Jason 3 times. Then I got up and grabbed a pitchfork and then I stabbed him in the heart. Jason then stabbed my stomach with his machete at the same time. I dropped the pitchfork. I fell down. He grabbed an axe near the edge of the top floor of the barn and was ready to kill Taylor. Taylor said,” No please.” I then used my last strength and stabbed him twice with the pitchfork. Then Jason walked back and back. I saw some spikes on the ground and I kicked him down into the spikes. Taylor then said, “Rest in hell” We both walked down. Taylor then stomped his body farther into the spikes. I was bleeding out and Taylor tried to use her healing spell to heal me but it didn’t work and I died. Then Jason pulled Taylor into the spikes so she dies with Jason.



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Jason spotted it as he pulled radishes: big diamond. The house’s former owner had asked him to watch for it. His wife, the gardener, had fallen. Hand ballooned; ring cut off. In early Alzheimer’s, she forgot where she’d put it. Two years ago now. Looks valuable. Let it stay lost. Retired after four decades’ prizewinning … Continue reading DON NOEL: The Ring →