Junie B. Jones: Middle School Extraordinare- Chapter 1- Not Almost 6

Image Credit: Lili M., Concrete, WA The author's comments: I always loved the Junie B. Jones books; and as I was reading them to my little sister I started wondering what happened to the adorable, ever-child-like, hilarious Junie B. as she grew up? I decided to write about Junie becoming a 6th grader & bringing back all her childhood friends & craziness we all love! Enjoy! My name is Junie B. Jones. The ‘B’ stands for Beatrice. Except I don’t like Beatrice. I just like B and that’s all. But no one calls me Junie anymore. Now everybody I know calls me June B. but never, EVER, will I allow them to call me June Jones. It just sounds weird. The same way calling me ‘June Beatrice Jones” would sound weird. Sometimes I wish my parents had named me something else. When I was almost 6 (not WHEN I was 6; just nearly there) I wanted to be named Pinkie Gladys Gutzman. I still happen to find that a very interesting name. ANYTHING seems more interesting than “June Beatrice Jones”. That was around the same time I wanted to be a Beauty Shop Guy and so I cut off my own hair. Thank Good Gravy that Mrs. noticed and told my mother so that we could get it fixed all nice. I remember lots of stuff from when I was a little kid; hating the school bus, Mr. Scary, Lucille’s rich nana, being a dumb bunny……I could write a series of kids’ books about all the crazy things I did! But I’m not almost-6 or 1st grade Junie B. Jones anymore. I’m almost 12, and almost 12 means I’m going to middle school! Middle school is a big school that big kids go to. It’s a giant leap from childhood to almost-kind of- adulthood; lockers, showers, popularity, YIKES! Fortunately, I’m set for my first day; I’ve got my best friends-since-kindergraden-when-I-was-almost-6. They’re names are Lucille and That Grace. Except I don’t call them that anymore, just like they don’t call me Junie B. anymore. I call Lucille Lucy and That Grace is Gracie now. I laugh whenever I think of the names I used to give people; Mrs., That Grace, Rich Nana…there were loads of them! Unfortunately, while my best friends are going to middle school with me, so are some kids I would be very pleased to run over with a big stupid smelly bus. Namely; May. I have not liked May since I sat next to her in First grade. We are NOT two peas in a pod. It doesn’t matter though, my OTHER best friends from 1st grade will be there with me; Jose, Herb, Lennie, and Sheldon. They are my boyfriends. But I’m NOT in love with them! Also there’s Jim. We hated each other in kindergarten, but now we have more of a sort of-friendly rival as mother would say. To get to my middle school, I must ride with a friend from long ago who didn’t start out as a friend. His name is the school bus. If you knew me when I was in kindergarten, you’d know about how much I hated the bus that was supposed to take me to school every day. After getting into BIG trouble in school over the bus (believe me, it’s a LONG story) and after meeting Gracie, the bus was a fun place. Kind of as much fun as recess! I jumped out of bed this morning and zoomed to my bathroom to get ready for the 6th grade. The mirror person looking back at me had messy plain brown hair (urgh! I ALWAYS wanted a more fascinating color of hair) that went a little past her shoulders, she was a little short (but mother said I’d shoot up in no time- Like a bean stalk!) and green eyes (again; BORING!!! I used to want two different colored eyes). I put my new 1950’s styled glasses before brushing my hair & teeth. I put on my new school outfit; a purple skirt that looked like velvet and a little pink sweater. I put white knee socks & shiny black patent leather shoes (I spit on them extra good so they’d be REALLY shiny!). I looked in the mirror again, happy with my outfit, but it was defiantly missing something. I tap, tap, tapped my chin wondering what it could be and then I saw it. A big, pink bow! I put it on speedy quick, and when I was satisfied with my appearance, I zoomed right into the kitchen to eat breakfast with my little brother Ollie. Some things just never change; Even when you’re almost 12.



STORY OF THE MONTH: November 2019

The Story of the Month is chosen from the Story of the Week winners announced from the past month. The finalists for November were: Sundays by Una Nine Nine Rain Dance by Raymond Sloane Surrender by Eileen Hansen Shadows by Dmitri Christopher The winner of the November 2019 Story of the Month, and the $10 … Continue reading STORY OF THE MONTH: November 2019 →

CHARLIE SWAILES: Assemblage

I’ve been collecting things since I was very small. Conkers, feathers, snow globes. Then onto stamps, butterflies, coins. It was only natural for me to progress to larger, more beautiful and precious things. Hard to find, harder to keep. People demand their freedom in a way that stamps never did. Charlie Swailes writes short and … Continue reading CHARLIE SWAILES: Assemblage →

KENT OSWALD: Color Him Unimpressed

She farted the color yellow. She perspired the color blue. Her most angry thoughts created a greenish aura around her head, while both her lusty imaginings and lightning-like pangs of envy created an orange fog around her feet. Her tinder date was color-blind. It might have worked. It did not. There are no answers at … Continue reading KENT OSWALD: Color Him Unimpressed →

MELODY LEMING-WILSON: Balloonman

The Balloonman presents the poodle, smiles and begins another. The child lifts it overhead; refracted color splashes his face. Autumn engulfs the horizon—the carnival sags. The Balloonman squints as summer burns itself out. The swan completed, he bows to one last girl, sighs, and turns toward evening and home. Melody Leming-Wilson lives and teaches in … Continue reading MELODY LEMING-WILSON: Balloonman →

LOIS ROSEN: Before My Second Wedding

My father-in-law-to-be mowed our yard with his tractor, transforming the tangle into a park. My son sobbed, He killed my favorite blackberry bush. “But there are more,” I argued. “Look, they’re all over.” He wouldn’t face where I pointed. I wish I’d said, “It’s painful to lose what you love.” Lois Rosen’s poetry books are … Continue reading LOIS ROSEN: Before My Second Wedding →