Max Gets Dissed By The Flock--A Maximum Ride Spinoff

Image Credit: Lindsey D., Marblehead, MA The author's comments: I do NOT own the maximum ride series. This is purely fan fiction! :) I LOVE FANG. Decided to write a quick snippet out of the blue. I tried to fit the characters (I know them by heart :D) as well as Max's witty sense of humor. Hope you like! ATTENTION, FANG BOOK SPOILERS! Okay, I know Fang is gone and all, but...this is beforehand. :) A spin-off from the middle of the book, I guess :) Fang. Fang. Fang. All I could think about was him, my mind was all fuzzy and... I heard a small thud. Probably just Gazzy falling off the couch or something... Back to Fang, the guy who made my heart melt, made me feel like I was a girl in one of those cheesy romances, swept off her feet by the avian bird-kid of her dreams. If Angel was to burst into the room at this very moment, I probably wouldn't notice. Well, more like I would just ignore her. I did that a lot, but she seemed to be doing that a lot more often these days...heck, she deserved it. I spoke too soon. Damn, why does that child have to read my mind? I could hear Angel fumbling with the doorknob, finding out that it was locked, and then deciding on kicking the door down. 'Damn you, child,' I thought. Angel smiled in her too-sweet-to-be-sane way, and her voice sounded in my mind, 'Oh Max, I have a good reason for kicking the door down.' Fang tore himself away from my body. "What is it, Ange? And...why do you have raspberry jelly all over yourself?" I noticed her jelly-ified body and clothes. "Pie, Fang, pie...Well, that's what I came to tell you. Gazzy and Iggy decided to put a mild explosive into Iggy's pie after he baked it, and when we all gathered around at the table to eat it--" I cut her off. "Wait... a MILD explosive? I'm going to kill them, I told them not to--" I paused. "Why didn't you guys tell me there was pie?" "I did. THREE times." "Oh." I slumped back down onto the pillow. "ANYWAY, when we all sat down, Gazzy said, 'THREE TWO ONE!' and he and Iggy pulled trash bags over their heads. Thats why--" She gestured to her now stained cute kitten-patterned t-shirt. "My FAVORITE shirt it now ruined.” I could hear Nudge whining to herself, complaining about her sticky hair that had taken an hour to curl and condition perfectly. "Okay, let's get this party over with." I rolled up my sleeves and got off the bed. "GAZZY, IGGY, YOU GET YOUR GUILTY LITTLE BUTTS OVER HERE, PRONTO!" I heard a variety of swears coming from outside the room, and heard Gazzy whisper, "Shoot, Angel told Max, the little--" Angel wiped some exploded pie off of her face. "I heard that!" I raised my voice again, "DID YOU HEAR ME SAY, PRONTO?" A hysterical looking Gazzy and Iggy stumbled into the room, clearly trying to hide their grins. "Okay you guys, this blowing up things while we're on our break thing has to stop, NOW. You've already blown up three trees, and I do not want a pattern of exploding food starting. You better stop making these things or--" They gave each other meaningful glances. "Don't tell me you guys have more in store for us." I sighed. "Okay--" "Okay, hand them over." Angel started speaking at the same time I did. Creepy how that kid thought the way I did sometimes. Even more creepy the fact that she seemed convinced it was her place, not mine, to say this. "Um, okay Angel, who made you leader?" She frowned at me, seemingly offended. AS IF. "I--" "Max, leave it. You already got two crooks-to-be to deal with." Fang. My rock. My annoying rock who brought me out of my accusation-sprees. "Fine," I snapped. "Okay, Gaz, Igg, like Angel said, hand 'em over." They hesitated for a moment, then realized I wasn't going to be fooled. Out of their pockets and Iggy's hoodie they extracted not one, not two, but a baker's dozen of thin oval shaped mechanical-looking explosives. "Thin," Gazman explained, "To fit between things like lasagna layers." I realized then that our plan was to have lasagna that night. So they had an aftershock, eh? I would never understand how they managed to pop these things out like cookies. "All right, how do I get rid of 'em?" "Well..." Gazman started, "You can't really destroy them without setting them off, I think. Or by making them explode with the controls--" Oh yeah. The controls. Iggy realized it just as Gazman said it. He grimaced. "Yeah, I want the controls too." I said. Iggy extracted a control pad that seemed to be an RV car controler converted to a mini-grenade trigger. "So that's all?" They nodded, and I glanced at Angel. "Confirmation on this, mind-reader?" "Yeah, they're clean." “Okay, so let's throw these things off of a cliff or something.” “On it.” Fang grinned at me. So maybe we can't go on a REAL date, we might as well go on a bird-kid one. “Sure, lovebirds, go on your mini-bomb dropping spree, have fun with it. WE don't get to drop them, even though WE made them...” Iggy sulked and his messy hair fell into his face. “Well, Igg, that's your punishment for EXPLODING PIE on your flock.” Nudge peeked into the now door-less doorway of my room. “What WERE you two doing when these two--” she pointed at Gazzy and Iggy, “Blew up RASPBERRY PIE into my recently washed, curled, and conditioned hair?!” She looked wild, staring at us with her nutmeg-brown eyes and with bits of the pie all over her. “Oh, I KNOW. You were K-I-S-S-I-N-G, like always. Max, YOU used to be the one who would curl my hair. I read Seventeen Magazine to you, even if I knew you didn't really care about the latest styling tips. I didn't care if you burned me, it was time we spent together that mattered. Now the only one who matters if Fang. You can care about him, but you have to care about us too! LOOK AT ME! I'M A MESS!” She ran, slightly tearful, from the scene. Everyone turned to look at me. I was shocked. I was about to head out the door, run out of the house, jump into the air and fly away. It was what helped me clear my head, but Fang stopped me. “Max, you are about to jump out of here and fly away, like you always do.” He knew me way too well for his own good. “You always fly away from your problems. No offense, but doesn't that sound like you're afraid of the problem? You always say we should face things and man-up. So aren't you kind of... a hypocrite?” Longest non-stop rant of the day from Fang so far. “Hey, I thought you'd be on my side.” I walked towards the door. Fang grabbed my arm. Angel spoke. “Hey, he's your rock, remember?” That just made me more mad. I broke free from Fang and looked down at her. “Keep your mind to yourself, Angel. Stop reading my thoughts, for the last time!” “Max, look at me,” said Fang. “CALM DOWN. You're acting like an idiot.” He sat me down on my bed. “Now, take a deep breath.” I felt stupid, like I was at a freaking yoga class or something. “In, out. In, out.” He gave me one of those grins I loved. “Good. Feel better?” “I don't have anger problems or anything...” The flock, minus Nudge, was looking at me skeptically. “Fine, fine, sorry everyone. Fang and I...have been idiots. We'll pay more attention to you now, okay?” Iggy looked impressed. “That is THE most un-Max thing I have ever heard you say in the many years I've known you.” I grinned. “All right, Igg. Okay guys, how bout we go throwing these explosives off a cliff?” The flock sounded their agreement. “NUDGE?” I shouted. “YEAH MAX?” She yelled back at me from the shower. “WANT TO THROW SOME EXPLOSIVES OFF OF A CLIFF?” “MAYBE LATER,” she said “I HAVE TO REDO MY HAIR.” “OKAY!” I smiled, and muttered back to the flock, “Her loss.” Like it? Hate it? Give me comments, criticisms, all that jazz. :) I wrote another version that splits off of Nudge getting mad about her hair and has more Fang and Max, as well as a mutant visitor. ;) And don't forget to read the side thingy!


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