New Moon (Sequal to Twilight) In About 5 Minutes

Image Credit: Brian M., Fishers, IN The author's comments: This is a parody. I love aprodies, so I made one. I love the Twilight Saga, but the Parodies are just as good. Please comment and rate!!! *Dramatic piano Music* (Edward and Bella stand outside of Bella's house by the truck) Bella: It's my birthday Edward:So....? Bella: Kiss me. Edward *Scared look* uhh... Okay? *They kiss* (At the Cullen Mansion thingie. Everyone is in a circle) Alice: It's time! It's Time! Bella, open your presents. Bella: But I don't like- Alice *Devilish look* OPEN THEM!!! Bella: Okay, Okay! Sheesh. *Bella opens package and gets a papercut. Blood squirts out everywhere* Bella: Ahhh!! Call a doctor!! Jasper: *Looks at bella and licks lips* tasty..... Edward: NOOO!!! *Pushed bella into piano* Bella: OW! Edawrd: Sorry......*Hits Jasper* I was trying to protect you....... Bella: You didn't do a good enough job. *Walks away. Emmett: Remind me why you like her? Edward: *sighs* I don't know anymore...Let's leave her. EVERYONE: YEAH!!!! (Edward and Bella are outside in woods) Edward: Bella I'm leaving. Bella: But Edwrad- Edward: *hides behind a tree* bella: *Hyperventalates* *Jacob comes out of nowhere* Bella: Jacob! I love you now that Edward's not here! Jacob: *Shrugs* I'll take it! (*Later on*) Bella: Let's build a bike! Jacob: When did you like Bikes? Bella: Shut up and build us some bikes that we can ride romantically into the sunset with....*Smiles and looks lovingly away* (Daydream) Jacob: Hop on Bells! bella: *Smiles brightly* OKAY Jackee! *Hops on and rides off a cliff into the sunset* (End Daydream) Bella: *Shakes herself out of daydream* Jacob: FINSIHED!! Bella: Let us ride into the sunset! Jacob: Where have you been all month.....? Bella: *Hops on back of the bikes* Let's go Jake! I wanna feel the adrenaline rush! Jacob: *Gulps* Kay then.... Bella: *Sees figure of Edward* EDDY! Edward: I'm not real! Leave me alone! Bella: *Crashes into a rock* Kay then *Sniffle* (Bella and Jacob at Bella's house) Alice: Ding-DONG! I'm at the door! *Knocks on door and then breaks it down* *BElla and Jacob stare with eyes wide open* Bella: Alice!!*Hugs her* Alice: Bella! *Sniff-Sniff* You smell great.... Bella: I'll go away now.... Alice: NO! Edward thinks you're dead. He's Gunna go commit suicide! Bella: Can vampires do that? Alice: Only the sparkly, magical, soft,non-sharp-toothed Cullens can! *Beams with pride* Jacob: Bella don't go! Bella: No, Jake. Now that Edwrad's back, I love him. You will just have to wait your turn. Jacob: But I'm a werewolf! Bella: *Eyes widden* When did that happen?!? Jacob: A While ago. We just didn't mention it cause it was so obvious. Did you see any of the New Moon trailers? That ruined everything! Bella: True. I still gotta go. Jake: *Whimpers* (Outside in Rome) Alice: GO BELLA! Bella: OKAY! *Trips over fountian* Ouch!!! Edward: *Walks into sun* Bella: EDWARD NO!!! Edward: *Looks at Bella* GOD! Can't this chick leave me alone? Bella: *Hugs Edward* RUNNN!!!! Edward:*Sigh* You won't let me be, will you? Bella. No. I'm persistant *Insane laugh* Edward *Sarcastic laugh* yes you are....*Sigh* Let's go home. (On a plane home) Bella: Okay. Edward- um...I've been meaning to ask you something. .. Edward: *Sigh* What is it, Bella. Bella: Will you marry me? Edward: *Scoffs* NO! Bella:*Grab's Edwards Earlobe* Do it or I'll seduce you.... Edward: Okay okay!!!!! Bella: *Smiles* YEA!!!!!



AMELIA JINDI: Ravenous

I ate it. All of it. It was terrible. My taste receptors burned with acid and salt. Still, my digestive system accepted it, converting the mass consumed into precious needed energy. My next meal was twice as big, mostly blue and green, much more delicious-looking. Third rock from the sun. AJ Joseph gardens while waiting … Continue reading AMELIA JINDI: Ravenous →

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Something wasn’t right. Detective Tift examined his suspect. Newlywed Scott Blanchett scratched the dried blood flaking his wrists, sobbing all the while. This case was clear-cut. They had enough evidence. “Why don’t you just admit it?” Tift asked. A pause. A sniffle. “I can’t admit to what I can’t remember.” Autumn Lala lives in Ohio, … Continue reading AUTUMN LALA: Bloody Blanchett →

NT FRANKLIN: Waiting

He loved her all his life. He waited, growing up knowing she was out there, even before he met and married her. The sun settled behind the hills every day, but today had special meaning. He would be facing tomorrow alone for the first time. Now, she waited for him. NT Franklin writes cozy mystery … Continue reading NT FRANKLIN: Waiting →

ROBERTA BEACH JACOBSON: Giggles and Magic

Every Tuesday at four in the afternoon hearts racing the trio of princesses zips down the hill and skips across the cobblestones to the village library Why all the excitement? The Harry Potter book club that’s why Every princess knows nothing compares to the secrets of wizardry hidden in books Roberta Beach Jacobson is a … Continue reading ROBERTA BEACH JACOBSON: Giggles and Magic →

JO WITHERS: Spirals

Fibonacci was fascinated by spirals. Mathematical patterns in flower petals, repetitive details in seashells – Nature’s inescapable, infinite cycles. As I hear you arguing with your father, drink-fuelled tempers curdling love to spite, I wonder: are we all like this? Caught in eternal circles, passing around the point where we began. Jo Withers writes micros, … Continue reading JO WITHERS: Spirals →