New Moon (Sequal to Twilight) In About 5 Minutes

Image Credit: Brian M., Fishers, IN The author's comments: This is a parody. I love aprodies, so I made one. I love the Twilight Saga, but the Parodies are just as good. Please comment and rate!!! *Dramatic piano Music* (Edward and Bella stand outside of Bella's house by the truck) Bella: It's my birthday Edward:So....? Bella: Kiss me. Edward *Scared look* uhh... Okay? *They kiss* (At the Cullen Mansion thingie. Everyone is in a circle) Alice: It's time! It's Time! Bella, open your presents. Bella: But I don't like- Alice *Devilish look* OPEN THEM!!! Bella: Okay, Okay! Sheesh. *Bella opens package and gets a papercut. Blood squirts out everywhere* Bella: Ahhh!! Call a doctor!! Jasper: *Looks at bella and licks lips* tasty..... Edward: NOOO!!! *Pushed bella into piano* Bella: OW! Edawrd: Sorry......*Hits Jasper* I was trying to protect you....... Bella: You didn't do a good enough job. *Walks away. Emmett: Remind me why you like her? Edward: *sighs* I don't know anymore...Let's leave her. EVERYONE: YEAH!!!! (Edward and Bella are outside in woods) Edward: Bella I'm leaving. Bella: But Edwrad- Edward: *hides behind a tree* bella: *Hyperventalates* *Jacob comes out of nowhere* Bella: Jacob! I love you now that Edward's not here! Jacob: *Shrugs* I'll take it! (*Later on*) Bella: Let's build a bike! Jacob: When did you like Bikes? Bella: Shut up and build us some bikes that we can ride romantically into the sunset with....*Smiles and looks lovingly away* (Daydream) Jacob: Hop on Bells! bella: *Smiles brightly* OKAY Jackee! *Hops on and rides off a cliff into the sunset* (End Daydream) Bella: *Shakes herself out of daydream* Jacob: FINSIHED!! Bella: Let us ride into the sunset! Jacob: Where have you been all month.....? Bella: *Hops on back of the bikes* Let's go Jake! I wanna feel the adrenaline rush! Jacob: *Gulps* Kay then.... Bella: *Sees figure of Edward* EDDY! Edward: I'm not real! Leave me alone! Bella: *Crashes into a rock* Kay then *Sniffle* (Bella and Jacob at Bella's house) Alice: Ding-DONG! I'm at the door! *Knocks on door and then breaks it down* *BElla and Jacob stare with eyes wide open* Bella: Alice!!*Hugs her* Alice: Bella! *Sniff-Sniff* You smell great.... Bella: I'll go away now.... Alice: NO! Edward thinks you're dead. He's Gunna go commit suicide! Bella: Can vampires do that? Alice: Only the sparkly, magical, soft,non-sharp-toothed Cullens can! *Beams with pride* Jacob: Bella don't go! Bella: No, Jake. Now that Edwrad's back, I love him. You will just have to wait your turn. Jacob: But I'm a werewolf! Bella: *Eyes widden* When did that happen?!? Jacob: A While ago. We just didn't mention it cause it was so obvious. Did you see any of the New Moon trailers? That ruined everything! Bella: True. I still gotta go. Jake: *Whimpers* (Outside in Rome) Alice: GO BELLA! Bella: OKAY! *Trips over fountian* Ouch!!! Edward: *Walks into sun* Bella: EDWARD NO!!! Edward: *Looks at Bella* GOD! Can't this chick leave me alone? Bella: *Hugs Edward* RUNNN!!!! Edward:*Sigh* You won't let me be, will you? Bella. No. I'm persistant *Insane laugh* Edward *Sarcastic laugh* yes you are....*Sigh* Let's go home. (On a plane home) Bella: Okay. Edward- um...I've been meaning to ask you something. .. Edward: *Sigh* What is it, Bella. Bella: Will you marry me? Edward: *Scoffs* NO! Bella:*Grab's Edwards Earlobe* Do it or I'll seduce you.... Edward: Okay okay!!!!! Bella: *Smiles* YEA!!!!!


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AUTUMN LALA: Bloody Blanchett

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Fibonacci was fascinated by spirals. Mathematical patterns in flower petals, repetitive details in seashells – Nature’s inescapable, infinite cycles. As I hear you arguing with your father, drink-fuelled tempers curdling love to spite, I wonder: are we all like this? Caught in eternal circles, passing around the point where we began. Jo Withers writes micros, … Continue reading JO WITHERS: Spirals →