Napoleon Dynamite walks into the shady old elevator and is struck by a beautiful girl, Pink. Napoleon is in such “ahh” that his mouth will not close. His horrendous mouth breathing gets worse by the second. “What are you looking at?!” Pink questions as she has her hand on her hip. Napoleon puts his head down and walks to the back of the elevator. Then Justin Timberlake sprints for the closing doors and barley makes it in. Justin stands next to pink, smirks at her, and pushes for floor 13. “Senorita, I feel for you.” Justin says as he’s looking Pink up and down. “Don’t get any ideas, it’s only you and your hand tonight!” Pink says as she glares into his eyes. Napoleon seeks his opportunity to impress Pink and starts busting some moves with his moon boots. Pink laughs in his face and then turns around. “I don’t know who you are but that is no way to rock your body.” Justin says as he chuckles. “Gosh!” Napoleon said Pink gets so frustrated with both of them talking she pushes Justin into the wall. The lights on the elevator flicker and the elevator comes to a halt. “Gosh! You’re such an idiot!” Napoleon screams. “Now I will never make it to Pedro’s party!” “Oh, Cry me a river.” Justin slowly says as he rubs his eyes. Pink bangs her head against the side of the elevator and looks like she wants to kill somebody. Justin keeps pushing the emergency button but nobody responds. “There’s not hope, those stupid girls at the front desk won’t even notice!” Pink yells with her face full with fluster. “Don’t yell at me, for all I’m the one who brought sexy back!” Justin smiles as he busts a mad move. “You didn’t bring anything back, gosh you’re such an loser!” Napoleon says while he looks at his feet. “Just go back where you were and draw your pictures.” Justin points to the corner of the elevator. “Maybe I will, GOSH” Pink kicks the side of the elevator and it begins to move. Suddenly the doors open abruptly. “Heck yes!” Napoleon shouts as he leaps out of the elevator. Justin and Pink walk out. “Are you sure you don’t want to hang out?” Justin questions “No, just get away from me! Pink says as she pushes Justin into the wall. “Hey girl, what goes around…comes around.” Pink rolls her eyes and flips her bright pink hair. They both go their separate ways and never look back.


“He died in Tanganyika,” she said, pouring herself another chotapeg. “Mauled to death by a lioness. That’s what he called it. Never Tanzania. Native nonsense, he used to say. He’d insulted his bearer, you see. He frequently insulted people. The shotgun the bearer handed him hadn’t been loaded.” Nicolas Ridley lives in London and Bath … Continue reading NICOLAS RIDLEY: Uhuru →

ANNE M LOGAN: Tranquility

She prepared her coffee, added her favorite creamer, carried it to her sitting place, placed her coffee, picked up her chosen pen and journal. Nesting into her tranquil spot, she turned to the blank page. Suddenly, the phone rang. “Hello.” “Is this Kate Morgan?” “Yes.” “We hate to inform you…” Anne Logan is a consultant, … Continue reading ANNE M LOGAN: Tranquility →


The story of the week for March 11 to 15 is… Anniversary by Susan Gale Wickes

RAN WALKER: Behind His Back

Shortly after Greg woke to discover his vertebrae had permanently fused with his wife’s while they’d slept, he became curious if she had been complaining to her friends about him behind his back. When she awoke screaming, desperate to pull away from him, he smiled, realizing it didn’t matter anymore. Ran Walker is burrowing himself … Continue reading RAN WALKER: Behind His Back →


When I first laid my eyes on her, I could not look away. Months later, I feel the same. Charming and delicate, she is absolutely perfect. The only thing I would change about her is the way she shuts her blinds before she sleeps. One day we will be together. Samantha Baltz is employed in … Continue reading SAMANTHA BALTZ: Passion →