Napoleon Dynamite walks into the shady old elevator and is struck by a beautiful girl, Pink. Napoleon is in such “ahh” that his mouth will not close. His horrendous mouth breathing gets worse by the second. “What are you looking at?!” Pink questions as she has her hand on her hip. Napoleon puts his head down and walks to the back of the elevator. Then Justin Timberlake sprints for the closing doors and barley makes it in. Justin stands next to pink, smirks at her, and pushes for floor 13. “Senorita, I feel for you.” Justin says as he’s looking Pink up and down. “Don’t get any ideas, it’s only you and your hand tonight!” Pink says as she glares into his eyes. Napoleon seeks his opportunity to impress Pink and starts busting some moves with his moon boots. Pink laughs in his face and then turns around. “I don’t know who you are but that is no way to rock your body.” Justin says as he chuckles. “Gosh!” Napoleon said Pink gets so frustrated with both of them talking she pushes Justin into the wall. The lights on the elevator flicker and the elevator comes to a halt. “Gosh! You’re such an idiot!” Napoleon screams. “Now I will never make it to Pedro’s party!” “Oh, Cry me a river.” Justin slowly says as he rubs his eyes. Pink bangs her head against the side of the elevator and looks like she wants to kill somebody. Justin keeps pushing the emergency button but nobody responds. “There’s not hope, those stupid girls at the front desk won’t even notice!” Pink yells with her face full with fluster. “Don’t yell at me, for all I’m the one who brought sexy back!” Justin smiles as he busts a mad move. “You didn’t bring anything back, gosh you’re such an loser!” Napoleon says while he looks at his feet. “Just go back where you were and draw your pictures.” Justin points to the corner of the elevator. “Maybe I will, GOSH” Pink kicks the side of the elevator and it begins to move. Suddenly the doors open abruptly. “Heck yes!” Napoleon shouts as he leaps out of the elevator. Justin and Pink walk out. “Are you sure you don’t want to hang out?” Justin questions “No, just get away from me! Pink says as she pushes Justin into the wall. “Hey girl, what goes around…comes around.” Pink rolls her eyes and flips her bright pink hair. They both go their separate ways and never look back.

ROBERT HOEKMAN JR.: We All Walk the Same (My Father in the Rain, pt. 2)

We take a plane to Des Moines. My uncles and cousins and my aunt are there and everyone wears suits and black dresses in the town where Grandpa was born, where the sidewalks are gray and crumbling, where the names on the headstones sound like mine. Like his. Like ours. Robert Hoekman Jr thinks you … Continue reading ROBERT HOEKMAN JR.: We All Walk the Same (My Father in the Rain, pt. 2) →


Where is he? Take a happy memory, old, rarely visited. Imagine it as a painting, oil on canvas. See the subjects, how they laugh, smile, dance. One does not. Follow that gaze to the dark corners. Someone casts a long shadow, out of view. There he is. The Shadow Man.

AJ JOSEPH: In Hindsight

“You chose,” he’d remind me later. “You could’ve gone home.” “You needed help! Neither of you knew how to do it right!” I retorted. “Well, is it almost done?” He’d asked thrice before. Feet aching, sweat pouring down my face, I replied “Yes, the turkey will be finished by dinnertime.” AJ Joseph occasionally writes at Words … Continue reading AJ JOSEPH: In Hindsight →


“Pa! They’re here.” “Who?” “The crows.” “Jeez, Ma, give it a rest.” “They’re watching.” “What?” “The garden, just waiting for the plants to grow, ripen.” “Ma!” “Then they’ll do their dirty work.” “Yer crazy, cut it out!” “Pa! One landed!” “Wait, Ma, no! Come back. Heck! Crow for dinner again.” Robin writes in the odd … Continue reading ROBIN D ANDERSON: Watching →


We woke under a perilous sun: too red, too hot, too close. How did we come here and how would we ever get back? We meant only to watch, to observe the Arcane Plane. But one cannot observe without becoming part. The mirror showed us more than our own darkness. Casey Laine comes from a … Continue reading CASEY LAINE: Affinity →